


Crashed And Burned

by breathxx



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 00:08:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3548729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathxx/pseuds/breathxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fifteen years they were inseparable. Fifteen years Raúl has helped José to stay sane, to not go insane. Fifteen years there was only the two of them. Until one sentence changed everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crashed And Burned

**Author's Note:**

> First One Shot in English ever - forgive me if there are any mistakes. Big thanks to my bae Jess who read over it and corrected it :)

Mourinho’s words, that they no longer had to show up for training of the pre-season, still hung heavy in the air. Just like their last fight. José didn’t want to think about it actually, but it was the only thing that dominated his thoughts. His last fight with Raúl. Fifteen years they had both played for Real, fifteen fucking years and then an arrogant, conceited Portuguese came around and wanted to get rid of both of them. The sad thing was, he had done it. José had signed his contract in Turkey a few days ago, Raúl would go to Germany. Germany! The country that did not even have a decent football team. And yet everything could have been different. Should have been. They could refuse and decide to stay and fight. But Raúl didn’t want to hear anything about all this, and without Raúl Madrid was not the same. Guti remembered only too well their huge fight which then followed. “Do you think I find that easy chema?! Do you really think I want to go?! No for fucks sake, but there is nothing left for us!”, He hissed - that was the first time ever he heard had Raúl curse off the pitch. “I love Real as much as you do, I don’t want to leave either but we have no other choice and it is time that you behave like an adult!” That was enough and Guti had yelled at him for about two hours - that Raúl did not understand that this club was his life, that RAÚL was his life, that he had given everything for both, he wanted to finish his career here and never had even given a thought about leaving. Raúl silently endured it all, even when José started to destroy his living room in a rage. He was used to it, he knew him better than anyone else - sometimes José had the feeling he knew him better than he knew himself. Raúl let him be himself and he usually just hugged him after such a fight, was understanding and helped him to calm down. Not in their last fight. Eventually he had started screaming too, the whole thing got out of control and José stormed out of the house with a “Well, screw you Raúl Gonzalez!”, fuming in anger. How bad it really was he had only become aware of when he - probably for the last time - sat in his favorite bar and tipped down one vodka shot after another. They had often argued in the last fifteen years, loud, hard and long, but always with the knowledge in the back of their mind that they would make up again. Because they could both not live without each other, they belonged to each other. This time he did not feel this way after their fight. This was the end and the thought almost made him go crazy. He was hoping for a fresh start; they could have gone anywhere. Could have built a new life - together. Just as Raúl had always promised him they would do one day, when they both had finished their career in Madrid. But Raúl had chosen to go to Germany - with Mamen and his children, but without him. He had chosen Mamen instead of him. Raúl didn’t love Mamen, at least not in the way he loved him, José was aware of that. For both of them it had always been just the two of them, never someone else, Mamen and Arrancha were just an excuse to their public image. Well, Raúl’s public image, he himself had never given a shit about what the others thought, and especially the media, about him. That’s why he got divorced from his wife again - that was just a year ago. He had hoped that this would somehow lead to a new beginning with Raúl - but his boyfriend saw it differently. Guti poured the next shot of vodka, he hadn’t really many memories of his second to last night in Madrid, .

When Raúl was at his door the following night, he didn’t ask further. This night they slept for the last time with each other and it was completely different than it usually was. Normally José was on top; tonight he let Raúl be the dominant part - something that had otherwise always been discussed for hours. Tonight it went without saying and it was completely different. They were both usually rather loud, fast and hard but it was the complete opposite today. Quiet, slowly, gently. Because they both knew that it was the last time - there was no recurrence. Raúl was the one who finally broke out in tears, clung to him and cried uncontrollably. José held him firmly while Raúl buried his head on his bare chest. It was as if his captain (because for him Raúl would always be his captain, even tho he was sure that Iker and Sergio would do a good job) only now realized what he had lost. He cried and Guti only stroked his hair gently again, stroking his black curls from his forehead which were still slightly sweaty from sex. It hurt him the same to just let go of the two things he loved most: Raúl and Real Madrid. Raúl had been at his side for over fifteen years, he brought him back down to earth when he thought he was going crazy again. He had kept him sane, had saved him from madness. He had, no matter how fucked up he was, no matter how drunk he was, and no matter how late it was, always let him in - Raúl had never rejected him. His children could be sick, he had his wedding anniversary with Mamen or it was simply inconvenient; at those moments he did not care and it didn’t matter. Raúl had never blamed him, never said that he had to change, had accepted him as the person he was. Raúl had been his first love, his one true love, his guardian angel. And he knew, no matter who would come after him, he would no one love as much as he loved Raúl. José knew that these feelings would most likely never go away. What they had was too valuable, too unique. Raúl was now asleep, there were still traces of tears on his cheeks and Guti pulled his boyfriend only closer to him. He breathed in his own smell of perfume and the simple Raúl-smell again. Now he also broke down, tears started running down his cheeks even if he tried to suppress them. He bit his lip, his body shook from the silent sobs and he stroked Raúl’s cheek gently. It was over, it was just finally becoming clear to him. What they had was gone, tomorrow morning Raúl would take the next cab to the airport and on his plane to Germany. He would leave to Turkey in only two weeks. Away from Madrid, away from everything he loved. Fifteen years he had spent almost every day with Raúl, had laughed with him, cried, suffered, celebrated. They had fought, tolerated, nearly killed each other and yet they’ve been inseparable. For fifteen years he had always known that he had Raúl at his side, the person on whom he could rely on the most. He entrusted his life to him. Raúl, who knew more about him than anyone else. Without Raúl he would go insane, he knew that already. In Turkey there was no Raúl in the car waiting for him so they could go home together after training. In Turkey he could not just quickly walk a few streets if he wanted to see him. He was alone then, he would probably never see Raúl again. He would never go back to sleep on their couch after sex, he would never hear Raúl complaining about his back pain in the morning. He would never be able to have breakfast with him again in their kitchen. But the worst was, that he would never be able to fall asleep next to him ever again. For fifteen years he was sleeping next to Raul almost every night, pressed close to him - he had slept deeply and firmly in each of those nights. Raúl was his remedy against his insomnia, against his inner turmoil, the only thing that kept him sane and stopped him from going insane in this club with all this pressure and now .. They had never thought that anything could change; they had been too naive. They never had wasted a thought that they could be separated one day. That they would leave Madrid and each of them to another club. He never thought that someone could ever break his heart. He had not understood how Sergio - Sergio! - let his heart break by Fernando and they both - he and Raúl - had been glad when Sergio and Iker found each other. But that such a thing could even happen to him once, that somebody was even able to do this.. Raúl was. There were even more tears and José tried no longer to hold them back now. He pressed close to Raul’s warm body while tears were running down his cheeks. “Te amo Siete” he whispered tearfully and kissed him gently on the forehead. It was over. Definitely.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear your thoughts


End file.
